Thursday, January 26, 2012

Dearest Steps,

We see each other every day. You never cared before when I [made movements by lifting my foot and setting it down again] on you. Not once in an entire year have I heard you complain. Why then, do you choose now to start making [mental calm disturbances and put me to inconvenience]?

These aren't actually my stairs...if they were, I wouldn't be moving...

I know I don’t hang around very often with you, but you are [necessary to the existence, continuance, and well-being of the after-mentioned] to my day. I couldn’t get anywhere without you. You know that. Why do you suddenly have a problem with me?

I guess I just don’t [perceive or grasp this meaning]. Is it because I’m moving? Is it because I’m leaving? Or did you always [passionately dislike] me? I don’t know myself around you anymore. I feel like there’s someone watching, just waiting for the moment when you trip me and embarrass me again so they can take [enjoyment or satisfaction] in my [physical suffering and distress]

Seriously, steps, if you have a problem with me, say it to my [frontal part of my head containing my expressions].

…Well, you know what I mean. You don’t have to take this to a physical level, okay?

Just talk about it with me. I’ll always be there to give you a leg up in the world. I know I can count on you too.

With many regards, affectations, and enthusiasm,

~Jennie

Dearest Sleeping Pills,

The past few nights of my sleeping [plan of procedure for aforementioned objective] have been most unsatisfactorily rearranged. My days are now everyone else’s nights, and the dawn draws a pillow over my head to block it out as I blearily pray that the coming morning is merely a bad dream and not [the state or quality of being real]. This is unacceptable.

Why? Because I must often be at work in the morning hours, and be nice and happy and cheerful and helpful, all of which I find hard to [bring to any form of completion] before noon (at the least). Simply put, I am not a [first part or period of the day] person. Being unable to fall asleep until three or four in the morning makes this statement that much more potent.

Be that as it may, when I discovered you the afternoon of our ‘incident’, as I shall call it, I was rather [eased and alleviated]. Nay, ecstatic even! Finally, a good night’s sleep and my biological clock reset under your influence! I should [express my gratitude] very much!

But yet another troubling [product of mental activity] beset me as I made to send you down my gullet. As a child, my mother always warned me about you and your kind. That some of you could be [causing or tending to cause death]. Some could do more damage than good, and to be cautionary. (However, my mother has said this about many things over the [Gregorian calendar period of 365 (and this time, 366) days], and I have found that she can be wrong. Not very much, but every long once in a while, she is wrong.)

Besides, I am an adult! I know what I am doing, [courting triflingly and acting amorously without any intentions] with you, oh sweet intoxication! I remember our fling from back in my high school days, and I have not forgotten the wonderful nights we spent together, wrapped in your warm embrace!

Still, an ingrained pathological [distressing emotion aroused by my feelings of impending doom] of the unknown made me double check your records before calling it a night and taking you back to my room, azitwur*.

Having found that I was not going to be [using or engaging] vehicles or becoming [with child] in the next ten hours, and making sure that your seal of protection was still [as good as necessary for the requirements of your purpose], I finally took you in and subsequently laid down to sleep.

These aren't the sleeping meds I have, nor do I necessarily endorse these or any sleeping medication.

I do not remember falling asleep; I only remember noting the time (10:00pm) and becoming completely sure that I would wake up with [a full and abundant supply] of time to get ready for my day at work (which would begin at 1:30pm precisely). Secure in that knowledge, and with you working your magic, I slept the night away peacefully.

I also slept most of the day away peacefully. Normally I wouldn’t mind, except for the fact that I was supposed to be at work at 1:30, and you kept me in [my piece of furniture reserved for (mostly) slumber] until 2:30! You’re not supposed to have that kind of stamina! I'm not supposed to have that kind of stamina! I was in bed, unconscious of the world (and, as far as the world was concerned, dead to it), for SIXTEEN. HOURS. That’s 57,600 seconds. That’s A LOT.

…When I said I wanted you to keep me happily satisfied in bed, this is not what I had in mind.

I don’t know how else to say this, my dear, but after the other night, I don’t have a [right, power, or opportunity to choose]. You’re not good for me. You pressure me into making bad decisions, and you leave me feeling empty and weird the next day.

It’s over between us. I’m [feeling regretful and sympathetic]. I’m taking out the trash, with you in it. Don’t call me. Don’t come back. I don’t want you in my [condition that distinguishes growing organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms] anymore. Not after this.

With many regards, affectations, and enthusiasm,

~Jennie

*(TM) Kashar

Monday, January 23, 2012

Dearest Reader,

Within these cybernetic walls you will happen upon (hopefully) many a [singularity; rarity; curiosity] of letters. These letters are intended for all to read, to interpret as they will. Some will be funny, others, melancholy. Yet more will be rants, and several, mere [observations in thought]. I will speak sometimes to one of you, or to a person I know - names shall be changed, rest assured - but I shall, for the most part, [hold myself back voluntarily] from editing events and my feelings. Other [written communications] will pertain to certain inanimate objects, or fictional occurrences, or fictional characters, even.

I aim to complete one of these every day, as there usually happens a time of day when [nouns (any and all)] will make me want to converse directly with them. I find myself very much wanting to tell my knitting how therapeutic and wonderful it is, and letting a dear friend know exactly just how much I adore them. I want to tell the river just how cold it is and how lovely its song can be on a downer-day.

However, the [defect and malfunction] in this most wonderful of [existing mental conceptions] is, that, the river has no address, nor no (to my knowledge) mind to understand and ponder on my letters. Which is why they will go here. These are the letters I'll never send.

I wish my handwriting really WAS this awesome.


I hope you enjoy them, and that I, at a point or two, will stumble across a helpful tidbit that you will find enticing. Please feel free to comment about your own [meetings and contending with] these pesky nouns at any point, or ask me any [problems for discussion, containing matters of uncertainty and/or difficulty].

Dearest Reader, thank you for being here, and for doing what you do.

With many regards, affectations and enthusiasm,

~Jennie