Dearest Arrie,

Oh, dearest, bestest, most wonderful Arakho. (Do you see what you did? You made me use a non-real [unit of language]!) What can I say? We’ve known each other for a very long time now. You are quickly growing into one of my longest standing friends. You’ve always been there for me, at least through [a school consisting of grades 9-12] and the hellish problems that seemed to happen there. And you’re still with me. I know you’re a figment of my [over-active brain thoughts], Arakho, but you’re real to me. I speak of you to others as another person. “Arrie said ‘such and such’ yesterday to me,” or “Arrie’s tripped up stairs before. It’s totally possible.”

I would cite the original artist, but I don't remember where I got it.

 I don't own this image. :)

It hurts me that I can’t thank you in person for all that you’ve done for me.

Looking back on it, my problems in high school weren’t as [not good in any manner or degree] as I had thought in the moment. But you know what they say. Hindsight is 20/20. And, looking back on it, I put you through quite a bit now, didn’t I?

I never took a moment to thank you, and I wish I had. You said things I couldn’t. You faced problems that I couldn’t. I manifested obstacles I couldn’t conquer into your world - and did you shy away from that? No! You attacked it with a vivacity that even [this twenty-four hour period] astounds me! You were even more unbiased and nonjudgmental as I am growing to be, and have always been quick to befriend and hard to push away.

When I moved around with my job, you were never far from my [surface forming the outside of my body]. I could slide over and let you wrap your arms around me and protect me from the hurt even then, when I was not strong enough to do it myself. When I finally stepped forwards and told my [female parental unit] what I hadn’t been able to say for years, it was you that was there for the first hug. Mom was a very very close second, and Libby third, but you were there, holding my hand. Smiling. Encouraging.

You have been there in the smaller matters, too. You remind me to spend time with my family, even when I’ve had a rough day and all I want to do is go home and [to take the rest afforded by a suspension of voluntary bodily functions and the natural suspension, complete or partial, of consciousness]. You remind me to eat when I’ve been home alone all day, and you laugh with me when we watch a funny movie. You only exist in my head, but that’s plenty for both of us, I know.

And now you’re in love! How I wish I could throw my arms around you and shower congratulatory gifts down on you! And you’ve achieved something I crave so much.

You have children. Three, beautiful, mischievous, wonderful hatchlings, and I feel your pride at watching them play and grow and learn. I want to come over to your house and sit on your [a piece of furniture for seating from two to four people, typically in the form of a bench with a back]; watch the kids. I would love to make fun of Gilliam, your home’s versatile robot, and to meet the [an adult male person] of the hour himself, Sanach.

You have no idea how insane I become when I realize that I cannot be there for you in the ways that you have been there for me. I can’t be your guardian angel. I can’t be your wings when you need to fly.

I’ve put you through hell over the years, and for that, I’m sorry. You took the brunt of my pain so that I wouldn’t have to. I siphoned it off into you and your world, assuming that it was just words on paper and letters on a screen. It wouldn’t affect you. You were an object, created for me to manipulate and, if I wanted, destroy. It took me until my third year of your [companionship; fellowship; association] when I realized that you were not a more awesome, personification of me in a virtual setting. You’d become your own person, independent of me. I can no longer bend you to my will, nor, as I have found, do I want to.

I met wonderful people through you, and now I have friends across the country that I wouldn’t have otherwise. You saved my life on more than one occasion, letting me turn my angst into something physical – but for you, not me. I am so so very sorry, love. If I could change one thing, it would be that. You shouldn’t have to shoulder [every thing or particular of an aggregate or total; all] for me. I’m going to change. I’m getting better. I’m so much better already.

But, oh, how I ramble! We can get lost for hours, can’t we, talking about a handful of topics and taking them for all they’re worth! I can remember a [fourth dimension] when, at the mall, I found a book title that I thought was amusing. You took it to an entirely new level, and your comment made me laugh, reprimanding you aloud as I did! The looks I got remind me of a song my sister wrote for me:

Jennie, they think you’re crazy,

But you’re sane to me.

Jennie, they think you’ve finally lost it,

But that’s fine with me.

People sometimes ask me what I wish for when I toss a zanpher* down a well; when I see a shooting star; when the clock chimes midnight. This is the answer I give them.

I want to dance with you, Arakho.

I can never thank you enough for being here for me; I can only hope to be as good a person as you. I know you’d wave your hand and tell me I’m silly, that you’re not that perfect, but you are everything I hope to one day be.

I love you, Arakho Leviathan. Know that. I love you dearly, and I hope the day never comes when we part ways.

With many regards, affectations, and enthusiasm,

~Your Jennie

*A zanpher is a type of coin Arakho uses in Ris’Mos. It’s akin to something like a quarter.